Smile on my face,tears in my heart.Yesterday,facing the same problem again,i can't control my emotions again.Lots of memories when both of us are young and now,the problem both of us have, keep appearing in my mind.Why things change completely over these few years?how i wish the relationship between him and i will remain close as before.Yesterday,both of us take a step to solve this problem.But i dunno why my tears keep falling,i can never control it whenever i face this problem.It is like there is a knot in my bottom of my heart.the one that i had been hiding all these years.I know that maybe facing such problem,i will be very fragile.This weakest part of me had been exposing to them when i face this problem.

It seems that one can be look strong from its appearance but will be very fragile when it comes to the secret in one heart.I spent the whole night thinking why i had been avoiding and avoiding.I finally has a solution, i am very afraid of getting hurt again,it will double the pain in my heart. I came out with one sentence to explain this''first you gave me hope,next u made me hurt''The pain in my heart i experienced from this sentence is ten times hurtful.Getting hurt for so many times,i am lacking of courage to face the problem...The pain i had for these few years in my heart. it is too serious from the hurt i receive these few years, it had always been there,the one that made my heart bleds. I am losing confidence to face this problem.It is too painful as the pain increases when the time passed.

I cannot hide the pain any longer...Yesterday, before i sleep, i had told my sis about some of my feeling this few years.This is the first time that i talk to someone about my true feeling.I guess it is the time for me to let go now.It is also the first time when i talk about it and tears kept falling down.My pillow is wet as i kept thinking and thinking last night.I believe that my eye is swollen today but i cannot avoid it. The weakest part of me that i had been hiding this few years are exposed to my sis.Maybe is because i cannot handle it anymore and had to say it all out.However, i hope that the weakest part of myself will remain a secret between u n i.please do not betray the trust i had to you...

I agree with what my literature teacher say''people cry when they revealed their weakest part but will feel embarrassed to let others to see the weakest part of you'' it is certainly true as i had experienced it by myself...

Labels: pain in silence